My 25th was painful because I felt like people would expect me to act like a responsible adult from that point forward and I was SO not ready to be considered anything resembling responsible. I was bit of a wild child and had way too much fun in college and my early 20′s.
Since then, every birthday’s been a breeze. I celebrate and enjoy the day, then move on. I don’t linger on the number and don’t fret about my grey hair or wrinkles.
Why, oh why, does this one seem so different? It has me remembering when a woman I used to work with turned 50. She was (and still is four years later) gorgeous and youthful. When we celebrated her birthday at work that day, singing “Happy Birthday” with cake and candles, I remember feeling sad for her. Her age seemed like a landmark that wasn’t necessarily a cause for celebration. In my mind, 50 was, and still is, a big step in the aging process.
A few months back, I read a quote that said, “40 is the old age of youth and 50 is the youth of old age.” Somehow, that made me feel better. I can still consider myself “young” compared to some, even though I’m “old” compared to others.
I’ve pondered this subject for the last several weeks. I’ve also been doing Deepak Chopra’s 21-day Meditation Challenge for the last three. I was gifted with a “centering thought” for one of this week’s sessions that really resonated to me: “I am ageless and timeless.” It was a much-needed reminder that all I really have is now and I’m better off accepting my pending birthday and celebrating every day that I’m given.
The meditation reminded me of a book I read several years ago, “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle. It’s a fascinating book, focused on changing the reader’s focus from worries of the past and fear for the future to a laser focus on the NOW. It’s really all we have and we waste it when we keep looking in the mirror or trying to predict what’s going to happen in the future. I think it’s time to pick up that book again.
What about you? How do you manage your feelings about aging?