Fetching Up a Teenage Boy…Now What?

medium_5372081748Growing a teenage human isn’t the easiest thing in the world. My son turned 15 in mid-September, around the same time he got his first girlfriend, and I, as Mom, have no idea how to handle it.

Do you tighten down the controls, in hopes of preventing too much of a fixation on the girlfriend?

Do you trust, based on past experiences with a wonderful young man who makes great decisions in school?

The girlfriend has only become “official” in the last few weeks, and I find it so sweet that my son has met someone who appreciates his smarts, wit and kind personality. And it’s a bonus that I’ve talked to her mother a few times, who seems as protective of her daughter as I am of my son.

My boy has always shown an outstanding ability to fend off peer pressure, though I’m not naive enough to think that the biological drive to have a more “intimate” relationship isn’t incredibly strong. I’m also wise enough to understand that, at this point, I’m here as an advisor. He will do what he does. My work as a parent – to raise him to understand the value of caution in creating intimate relationships – is pretty much done. My job as advisor and supporter, when asked, is it for now.

What about you? How did you handle the teenage years with your son or daughter?

photo credit: ARACELOTA via photopin cc

2 thoughts on “Fetching Up a Teenage Boy…Now What?

  1. With lots of prayer and paranoia. It is what it is. I don’t trust the teenage brain not to get wrapped up in and warped by the hormones that ultimately run rampant through them. We can talk until we are blue in the face, and we should. We can threaten and discipline, and we should. In the end we do have to trust that what we have taught them sinks in. Trust that somehow our voice will be louder then the surge of the hormones. And pray that we use the right words and teaching moments to make that happen. I added paranoia. I was not kidding. I make sure that I don’t talk myself OUT of those teaching moments because I’m “not sure” or because I know the conversation will be awkward and even embarrassing for them and me. And the one thing I have had to learn is that no matter how “right” you do thinks our teenagers grow to be young men and women that WILL make decisions that we do not approve of. They will make mistakes. It is then our job to support them, pick them up, brush them off, and try again. And pray that those mistakes are not bigger then their faith.

  2. Thank you, Maxine! Great advice and I love your paranoia factor. I needed to hear that, for sure, as I have those moments of being unsure and letting things slide because I don’t want to be too overbearing.

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